Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.
Taken from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
BY T. S. ELIOT
We are going, I and you,
When the morning is pressed against the sea
Like ship wandering on the horizon
Let us go through half-deserted beaches
Searching for ancient pebbles
The pebbles of confront
Of sky open nights
Insidious with fright
Crying mischievous laments
Of indecent intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question…
Oh, do ask, what is it?
Let us go and breathe from a visit
mefeedyoume
I think you made T.S. Eliot’s poem a thousand times better. I love your conversation response to the poem and the fleeting feeling it gives, just like Eliot’s. Brilliant and mesmerizing work; I admire your poetic abilities very much, your writing style is fantastic to read!
Well done. I agree with Lucy….a great take on the poem you’ve chosen to use for the prompt!
My kids both did the Eliot in Eng Lit, so I know those opening lines really well! I like the way you keep the pattern and the voice, but open it out – the original has a claustrophobia to it, but you take us out into the great world. Brave to take on Eliot, but you certainly rise to the challenge with aplomb!
This is absolutely splendid! 💝💝 Especially love; “The pebbles of confront of sky open nights/ Insidious with fright/Crying mischievous laments.” 🙂
I love your harmony to Prufrock’s song. So rich with things not sung but felt deep in the heart.
Love how you mirrored your response but made it your own reality with the details of the streets.
I love how you’ve answered Eliot here: a dazzling conversation between two poets!
I loved this from start to finish. And especially this –
Thank you.
-David
A truly conversational poem, using the direct address and question of Eliot’s original while taking the reader ‘through certain half-deserted streets’ and ‘restless nights in one-night cheap hotels’, a great contrast of town to Eliot’s seaside setting, while including ‘sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells’ – tipping your hat to the original.
This was an excellent piece and an engaging read Ricardo — well written. Happy & Healthy New Year to you and yours. Here’s to writing wonderful poetry in 2021.